Escorts for women: an interview
Even in ancient times, men used the option of paying women to fulfill their erotic desires. However, the fact that women also make use of such services is comparatively new. Kevin, a 44-year-old from Dortmund, has been working as an escort for many years and now uses the platforms Callboyz.net and callboy-verzeichnis.com to broker the services of his colleagues throughout Germany. In this interview, he explains what makes his work so special and what his clients expect.
“Unlike female escorts, their male colleagues are hardly present in public. Why is that? Are sexual services a taboo for women?”
“For one thing, the market is much smaller. I estimate that only around 100 male escorts in Germany offer their services to women professionally. A number of them can be booked via our platforms, while others work for agencies on a permanent basis.”
“In your opinion, is this handled more openly by call boys who have men as customers?”
“I can’t answer that because I don’t have any contacts in this part of the industry. But I think it’s similarly discreet there too, as I suspect that many of the customers are probably married and therefore tend to use these services in secret.”
“Do customers at least talk about it with their best friends? Or would they be revealing a perceived emotional or sexual need that embarrasses them or puts them in a bad light?”
“In my experience, that does happen. Married women also hide their callboy adventures from their girlfriends because they are afraid that their husbands might find out. Single women are more open about it and more confident and self-assured – at least towards people they really trust, such as their best friends.”
“The impression is that the market value of female escorts who can be booked online is primarily measured by their age and body. What is it like for men?”
timeIt’s actually a little different with callboys. For example, we have listed different types of men on our portal to make sure that there is something for every woman: we have bearded men and bald men, men in their late twenties and over 50s, sporty guys and classic suit wearers. When men book an escort lady, they usually choose one based on her appearance. This is because it is usually not about conversation or companionship, but primarily about sexual services, especially with younger clients. Women, on the other hand, are more interested in the complete package, for example an attractive man at their side, going out to dinner with him, being able to talk at eye level and, in case of doubt, continuing the evening in intimate time together.
“What needs would customers ideally like to have fulfilled by the call boys they book?”
“In my observation, expectations are less concrete and tangible than with men. Women in particular who are using such a service for the first time simply see how the meeting develops. They take a relaxed approach, just like a normal date. But there are also women who have very clear ideas and communicate them in advance. For example, I always offer to talk to my clients about their wishes in advance, including their sexual desires, of course. This allows me to better adapt to the woman in question and respond to her wishes.”
“What kind of women indulge in the luxury of a call boy? Can you identify certain groups?”
“These are businesswomen, for example, who don’t have time to date in the traditional way. They may have already met a man or two on dating apps, but found it too unproductive and time-consuming. This is because men on dating apps, especially when it comes to sexual contact, usually only think about themselves and don’t engage with women. Especially when women have little time for themselves because they are very busy at work, it is simply more effective for them to book a callboy and spend a nice evening with him. But there are also women with very ordinary jobs, whether they are cashiers, medical assistants or employees, who don’t necessarily earn a lot of money but still afford to take a break like this every few months.”
“Sex work, no matter what form it takes, is still judged morally by society. To what extent does this also apply to call boys?”
“Unfortunately, sex work is very stigmatized and is not seen in a good light. Nevertheless, many women and even some men offer these services to men, women and couples. So there is a huge demand, from people across society. Nevertheless, this “oldest job in the world” is frowned upon. In fact, almost only sex workers are in the spotlight. Call boys are more or less under the radar. I think it’s a shame that sex workers are often forced to use pseudonyms for their work or can only show themselves anonymously on the agencies’ platforms so that friends, acquaintances or possibly even the employer in their main job don’t find out. This secrecy and shame should no longer be necessary. It’s certainly no different for many call boys, especially if they have a family in the background.”
“You, on the other hand, are quite open about your work and talk about it in the media, for example. How do those close to you react to this?”
“I’ve hardly heard anything negative from my circle of friends. On the contrary, they think it’s good that I’m going my own way and they always follow any interviews with me. When these appear on social media, be it YouTube or Facebook, there are of course always people who write crap in the comments. But you just ignore that kind of thing.”
“How did you experience the debate about the so-called Prostitution Protection Act?”
“I think it’s wrong that there is actually a serious discussion about adopting the Nordic model in Germany.”
“Which would mean that people who use sex work are liable to prosecution.”
“This whole debate has completely ignored what it would mean for sex workers if this ban were to actually happen. Sex work will certainly not disappear as a result of the ban on buying sex, because the demand will remain. It should rather be about helping women – and this is primarily about them – who are forced into this activity by pimps.”
“In the wide-ranging debate about the Prostitution Protection Act, it was noticeable that it was only ever about sex workers, but never actually about sex workers. Does this mean that men who work in this industry do so more independently and on their own responsibility?”
“There probably isn’t a single call boy who works for a pimp. This is perhaps also the reason why the discussion has completely lost sight of the fact that there are indeed men who do sex work. However, it is also true that there are many sex workers, especially those from Eastern Europe or South America, who do not really work independently or voluntarily. However, it is wrong to lump all people in sex work together. There are indeed women as well as men who pursue this profession in a self-determined way and also have the desire to do so. Of course, money also plays a role, but ultimately this applies to every professional service.”
“What role do sexually transmitted diseases play in your job?”
Escorts are obliged to practice safe sex and, of course, to get tested regularly for sexually transmitted diseases. That means I have a test at the public health department every three months on average, which is even free of charge for me as a sex worker. I also have my urologist check me regularly for other possible bacterial or fungal infections.”
“How do customers deal with the topic of STIs? Are there certain expectations or is the topic rather shameful?”
“Sometimes customers ask for a current STI test in advance. That’s not a problem, of course, but it only happens very rarely. Usually, the ladies rightly assume that a professional callboy also has himself tested regularly. This may not necessarily be the case with a disco acquaintance.”
“Have you learned anything new about people’s sexuality, especially that of women, through your work over the years?”
“I used to be very sexually active and went to swingers clubs a lot. Now that I work as a callboy, the sex contacts have increased even more. Of course, you learn something new with every new encounter. This certainly broadens your repertoire. But every person and every woman is different when it comes to sex. So you have to feel your way around each time and find out what your partner likes and doesn’t like.”
Interview and editor: Axel Schock
