Do it yourself: masturbation
People of all ages, genders and sexual orientations can and do masturbate. According to surveys, around 90 percent of people masturbate. Nevertheless, masturbation, also known as solo sex, is still treated as a taboo. Yet it is so much fun and you can learn so much about your own pleasure and your own body. Masturbation has many positive effects – regardless of whether you are in a relationship or single. Of course, the whole body can and should be involved in the pleasure process. Here we will focus on the stimulation of the genital regions.
How does masturbation work with the vulva and clitoris/for women*?
Treating yourself is not rocket science, but it does require a little curiosity. It’s important to be in the mood, to take the time and be calm – and to have a little curiosity to explore every part of your body.
To reach orgasm, many people stimulate their vulva or clitoris with their fingers and determine the speed, pressure and type of friction themselves. Sex toys such as dildos or vibrators are also often used. Some prefer to be stimulated by jets of water from the shower head or ride on a rolled-up towel.
Try to involve other parts of your body, such as your breasts or thighs, by stroking and kneading them if you feel like it. There are no limits to your imagination.
How does masturbation work with a penis/man*?
Masturbation for people with a penis is first and foremost purely manual work. For some, simply stroking the penis is enough to provide fulfilling arousal. Traditionally, however, the foreskin or hand is moved over the glans – which is sometimes colloquially referred to as wanking, rubbing or “jerking off”. Because the nerve endings are located on the glans, a particularly high level of pleasure can be achieved at this point. Sex toys are used less frequently here, depending on preferences, there are so-called masturbators (which are available in all shapes of orifices) or dildos on the market for those who prefer anal stimulation.
And some even manage to satisfy themselves orally. Even if this is an acrobatic exercise that only a few and particularly agile people succeed in, more people try it in the course of their lives than you might think. However, there is one tool that people of all genders and sexual identities use equally: visual stimulation – be it erotic fantasies in their own mental cinema or pornographic images and film material.
How healthy is masturbation?
Masturbation, or solo sex, has several positive physical effects. For example, it boosts the production of sex hormones: The body produces more oestrogen or testosterone. The happiness hormones endorphin and oxytocin released during orgasm in turn make you feel balanced and peaceful. Masturbation also reduces stress, helps to relax the body and mind, activates the circulation and strengthens the pelvic floor muscles. The latter not only improves the ability to orgasm, but also prevents urinary incontinence. Masturbation is also a natural painkiller that can help to relieve headaches and cramps, for example during periods.
And what about negative side effects?
There are no known physical risks. However, if sex toys are shared with other people, care should be taken to ensure that they are always kept clean to prevent the passing on of (intestinal) bacteria, parasites or sexually transmitted infections such as chlamydia or gonorrhea. You can also wear a condom over dildos and vibrators to reduce the risk of infection. Anyone who feels shame or guilt as a result of masturbation could suffer damage to their mental health as a result of these negative feelings. Talking to good friends, sex therapists, counselors or even doctors can be helpful here.
How important is masturbation for a fulfilling sex life?
Solo sex is a good way to get to know your own body – without the pressure to perform and without the expectations of a partner:
What do I like? How can solo sex feel good for me? What excites me? How do I react to certain stimuli? How can I delay an orgasm or reach a climax at all?
Many people achieve a vaginal orgasm much better through masturbation, for example, as the clitoris is much less stimulated during penetration. Such experiences and knowledge can then be used during sex with others and can lead to more fun and greater satisfaction for everyone involved.
Is masturbation only a sex substitute for singles?
Masturbation is a fantastic part of our sexuality – regardless of whether we are currently in a sexual relationship or not. The fact that people in a relationship masturbate alone or perhaps even together does not necessarily mean that something is wrong with the relationship. On the contrary: onanism can actually improve sex with your partner both emotionally and physically. The focus here is entirely on how you feel. Sex with a partner, on the other hand, is about getting involved with each other and pampering each other or together. This is why it usually takes longer to reach orgasm than with masturbation. It should therefore not be seen as a substitute for sex with someone else, but rather as a supplement to your own sexual repertoire.
The fairy tale lesson: Does masturbation make you infertile and kill your libido?
Over the centuries, the worst threats have been conjured up to prevent children and young people from masturbating. But all these warnings are
fairy tales. “Self-pollution” does not cause spinal cord atrophy and does not lead to them using up all their sperm supply in adulthood and therefore no longer being able to procreate.
And no, when women satisfy themselves, they neither become frigid nor does it affect their fertility. A possibly dwindling or weak libido also has nothing to do with masturbation habits.
Can masturbation become an addiction?
There is no fixed benchmark for how many times a week is still healthy or already an addictive behavior. Adolescents certainly do it more often than people of an advanced age, but no one is stopping them from continuing to enjoy themselves regularly.
It is important that self-sex does not become a competitive sport, but that the focus is actually on pleasure. If you put yourself under pressure, you won’t enjoy it very much and therefore won’t experience the positive effects to the extent you would like.
As long as masturbation does not dominate the daily routine and other areas of life (such as work and social relationships) are neglected, there is no need to worry.
However, if you are worried about your own masturbation habits, you are unsure or, for example, your masturbation is becoming compulsive, you can confidently contact a counseling center in your region or online.
Author: Axel Schock
